Idgie, I think you and Mr. Idgie need to make the little man a little sister.
I'm serious when I say that. I have found, through personal experience, that men with sisters are universally kinder towards their wives and girlfriends, and are more respectful of women in the workplace.
Interestingly, a significant amount of research has recently concluded that men with sisters are happier. In the NYT, Deborah Tannen reviewed a recent Brigham Young study with that conclusion, and noted that the reports in that study were echoed by previous research:
Last year, for example, the British psychologists Liz Wright and Tony Cassidy found that young people who had grown up with at least one sister tended to be happier and more optimistic, especially if their parents had divorced. Another British researcher, Judy Dunn, found a similar pattern among older adults.The researchers have generally concluded that the reason these men are happier is because they learn better communications skills, and therefore have closer relationships with their sisters than with their brothers, and feel safer in communicating with them.
Now, I understand these studies are not perfectly aligned with the goals you have set out for Mini-Idgie. But I would think that a man with improved communications skills, who feels comfortable talking with women, is more likely to be respectful of ALL women.
So get to it, Idgie :)
I definitely believe that boys with sisters do see women differently, if for no other reason that there is a girl their age who they can never see as a sex object.
ReplyDeleteBut I wonder about that study highlighted by the NYT. I'd imagine that the benefit boys are seeing is also from the fact that having sister(s) gets them off the hook. If they have a sister, she's more likely to take the parents in to her house when they are elderly, if they don't move into a nursing home. He'll assume that she'll make sure that mom gets flowers on Mother's Day.
I have multiple brothers and sisters, and I definitely think that's what my brothers do. I could see how having that responsibility off my shoulders would make me a happier person. Now I want them to do a study on if women benefit from having brothers. If they do, it certainly isn't in this regard.
Ouch on our brothers being irresponsible when it comes to taking care of the parents! I claim that our brothers are doing a better job than I am (for one) at the mother's day flowers and taking care of ma and pa--remember--there is only one kid who did't skip town. He has airport transportation duty, etc, and if anything really does go down-he's the first responder. We all do what we can.
ReplyDeleteOn the less personal front, I absolutely agree that sisters give boys an opportunity to practice close relationships with women, but they will imitate the type of relationship with their sisters that they see being practiced by their parents. There are plenty of boys who treat their sisters (and other women) poorly, likely because they see their father treating their mother with little respect.
My husband, the baby of three boys,(in my humble opinion) is the perfect feminist since he believes I can do anything I want and will do it well! So sisters aren't absolutely required!