In defense of granny panties

Granny panties get a bad rap in today's society and I for one think it is a shame. Between thongs and boyshorts, low rise and hi rise bikinis, and whatever new fangled underwear shapes the fashion gods deem to be "in", it is easy to be both titilated and confused in the Target underwear bins. But, the one underwear shape that is hopelessly passe is the granny panty. The full-coverage, stay in one place, reliable, comfortable granny panty. As I believe that underwear should be both practical and sexy (in that order), I offer you a defense of the granny panty.

Coverage: The granny panty is known for its coverage. The ass is gently cupped at the bottom and the top elastic sits just at the hip. Some older models go all the way up to the waist, leaving absolutely no chance for butt cleavage. For those among us who have lived through the era of low rise jeans, we know the danger of having pants that fail to do their basic duty of covering your butt. Now that fashion has bestowed upon us a more realistic waist for our pants, why would we wear underwear that might slip down, ride up, or otherwise fall out of place to give even today's modestly cut pants a chance to reveal more than you'd ever like?

Comfort: I hate clothes that don't fit well. Not only do they look bad, but you are always tugging, straightening, adjusting , and other various maneuvers to be comfortable. This is even worse when dealing with under garments. I hate the feeling like my ass has eaten my underwear that happens so often with thongs or other models with less coverage. It makes me feel fat, even if I'm not a pound over my goal weight.

Visible panty line (VPL): When I confeessed my disdain for thongs over drinks with some girlfriends, one gasped and said, "But, what do you do about VPL?!" Well, to be honest, I haven't worried about VPL since college when low rider black stretchy pants were all the rage. My work pants aren't that snug and my jeans are thick and sturdy enough to handle the thin band of elastic. And, since my underwear covers all of my ass instead of cutting up along a cheek, anyone checking out my backside will only see booty.

Sexy: At first glance, the granny panty is anything but sexy. The high waist, the full coverage screams prude. However, the confidence inspired by walking around in complete comfort without tugging or wedgies or any other infliction of ill-fitting panties IS sexy. Think Bridget Jone's Diary where she chooses the granny panties to wear on her date to in order to increase the odds of sexytime. Add some color or lace and you have one sexy pair of underwear.

So ladies, as my mother always said, "Put your big girl panties on and stop whining." (Well, the whole saying might not be appropriate for my argument, but you get the idea.)